


World’s Finest Gen 3.0

by MtBlackBear (Meicdon13)



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alien Biology, M/M, Mpreg, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meicdon13/pseuds/MtBlackBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kon gets pregnant. Tim seems to be handling it pretty well. Kon doesn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	World’s Finest Gen 3.0

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted pregnant!Kon because I haven’t read any yet. And it makes more sense to me that he’d be the pregnant one because _he’s_ the half-alien. Also, I have an easier time imagining Kon complaining about swollen ankles and weight gain than Tim doing the same. Unbetaed, so point and I shall correct.
> 
> Generic DC comics continuity, a little into the future so that Tim and Kon are university-age.

When Kon finds out that he’s pregnant, he pretty much freaks the fuck out.

Sure, his shirts had been getting a bit tighter, and yeah, he was having some trouble buttoning up his jeans lately, but he’d chalked it up to really awesome cooking by Alfred _and_ Ma. They were in a middle of a friendly contest to see who could bake the best cookies. Who was Kon to say no when asked to judge?

But he has to admit that the cookies didn’t really explain the throwing up in the mornings (and sometimes in the afternoon, too, which sucked) or the sudden craving for weird kinds of cookies (he was pretty sure that he wouldn’t want to eat a pickle-flavored cookie unless there was something wrong with him).

Finding out that he’s pregnant? It’s so clichéd, he could cry. If he were a girl and he complained about the same things, he _supposed_ he would think, “Whoops, might have a bun in the oven,” but he’s _not_ a girl. So it makes sense that the thought doesn’t even cross his mind until Batman tells him that he’s about to be a daddy.

And the only reason Batman knew was because he was a creepy, overprotective living shadow who somehow managed to sneakily nab a sample of Kon’s blood to test for alien diseases he could accidentally pass on to Tim.

So when Batman called Tim and Kon down into the cave and announced with a scowl (that’s terrifying even by normal Bat standards) that Kon was pregnant, it wasn’t really surprising that Kon lost his shit.

“If this is supposed to be a joke, it’s not funny!” Even Kon could hear the barely-contained hysteria in his voice. The last month played through his head like some movie, all the signs in plain view.

Batman’s scowl became scowlier. “Why would I joke about something like this?” he growled.

* * *

The smile on Clark’s face was ridiculously dazzling. “Congratulations!” After a few seconds, the look on his face turned serious. “You and Tim didn’t use protection?”

Kon wanted to tear his hair out in frustration. “How is this even possible?”

Clark tapped his chin. What followed was a long and complicated explanation that Kon couldn’t really understand, aside from the fact that apparently, dudes having uteruses are a recessive trait on Krypton. Rare, but not unheard of. Clark seemed to care more about becoming a granddaddy than explaining it using small words. Unfortunately, small words were the only thing that Kon’s brain could handle at that moment.

“We should go to the Fortress this weekend,” Clark said. “The AI can run a full diagnostic; make sure that everything’s going fine.”

The thought that something might _not_ be fine blocked Kon’s words in his throat. It was scary thinking about the fact that he’s carrying another life inside of him, especially since it’s something that he never expected to happen _ever_ , but it was scarier just thinking about finding out that there was something wrong with his baby. _Their_ baby, his and Tim’s.

“What if the baby only has, like, eight fingers? Or eight toes?” Kon choked out, past the fear in his throat. After that, it was like a dam bursting, questions fueled by vague memories of health class. “What if the baby’s upside down or something? What if the umbiliwhatsis is wrapped around the baby’s neck?”

“Kon, calm down—”

Kon grabbed the front of Clark’s shirt. “How does the baby _come out_?”

Kon fainted in the middle of Clark’s explanation of the Kryptonian birthing channel.

* * *

The worst thing about the whole pregnancy thing was the fact that Tim seemed so freaking calm about the entire thing. It just wasn’t fair that he could concentrate on coming up with a decent excuse for Conner’s upcoming months-long absence from school, or have weirdly serious talks with Steph and Alfred about what color the baby’s room should be, or list down all of the baby supplies they’d ever need for the next three years.

Kon sulked while he watched Tim talk to Bruce about when would be the right age for their kid to join in the family crime-fighting business. What if Kon didn’t want his kid to be a superhero? Did Tim even think about that? Then again, their baby would probably have powers (or at least Tim’s freaky megabrain) and it’d be hard not to let the kid join in at some point. But still.

Bruce and Tim finally finished talking, and Kon immediately floated over to where Tim was pulling out what looked like color swatches for the nursery. The look on his face was ridiculously intense, like he was analyzing samples of illegal drugs. And that was when Kon realized that Tim _was_ freaking out about it; he was just freaking out in his own way. Kon sighed. Tim probably already had plans for their kid’s college fund, and the little monster hadn’t even come out of his stomach yet.

Kon poked the back of Tim’s head, ignoring the irritated look that Tim gave him in favor of rubbing his thumb against the furrow between Tim’s eyebrows. “I’m just saying, if it’s a girl, I’m gonna be pretty useless. I have no idea how to take care of baby girls.”

Tim snorted. “As if you know how to take care of baby boys.”

“And! You have to be there when it’s time,” Kon said. “Clark told me how it comes out, and it sounds really gross and horrible.”

“How does it come out?”

“I can’t believe you’re wearing your science face when we’re talking about Kryptonian birthing channels.”

Tim brushed his comment aside. “What did Clark say? It’s the first time I’ve heard anything about this—I thought we were going for a C-section.”

“I didn’t hear the entire thing. I fainted,” Kon mumbled.

Even as Kon pouted while Tim laughed his ass off at his expense, he knew they were going to be alright. Sure, being pregnant was still scary and it was still weird, but there wasn’t anything Red Robin and Superboy couldn’t handle. But that was just a bit too cheesy, so he wouldn’t tell Tim that. Instead, he declared that he was _so_ going to make Tim stay for the entire thing just so he could yell at him for making him go through it.


End file.
